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As a person with a disability, I know it’s sadly too common for many of us to jump to the “We’re not good enough” conclusion when it comes to dating. Whether we use our disability as an excuse to not even approach someone to the basis for us being rejected in a relationship, we’re always quick to use the disability card to explain any not-so-impressive dating stats.

And maybe it’s true, our disabilities are to blame, but thinking in such a negative way about one’s disability can only cloud your judgment and make you more paranoid about your disability than you should be. Here are some easy, humorous ways to re-think the way you perceive your disability while dating. By reframing limiting beliefs and focusing on the good qualities about yourself rather than the negative, you’ll not only open yourself to new possibilities, you’ll attract those with similar thoughts. A very good thing.

BAD THOUGHT: “My wheelchair causes too many accessibility hassles.”

GOOD THOUGHT: “My wheelchair is a great place to hang bags, and my lap is great for stuff too!”

It’s too easy to stress over your wheelchair, and subsequent need for accessibility, and how it may ruin a relationship before it even gets started. Since you’ll never be able to find a true solution for this annoying problem (a futile, futile affair, despite the existence of the iBot), why not instead think about the positives of your wheelchair, things that actually make having a wheelchair around a good thing? Like storage and flat surface space (your lap), and other good things? The wheelchair also contains many useful hiding places for sneaking in food to the movie theater. Can’t forget about that one.

BAD THOUGHT: “He’d/she’d never date someone who can’t walk.”

GOOD THOUGHT: “He’d/she’d never date someone who wasn’t as interesting as me.”

Let’s face it. Your disability makes you more interesting than the Average Joe. Because of it, you probably know certain things they don‘t, do things they‘d never see or know about, and know, converse, and hangout with people they’d never come across. Even though all of these interesting things were caused by a sad fact of life, it doesn’t take away from how interesting you’ve become. Embrace your “weirdness,” and add a stylish edge. And make sure to keep the extra-extra weird behind closed doors ;)

Also, people may surprise you. People who you think would never date someone in a wheelchair, very well may. You just never know.

BAD THOUGHT: “I’ll let them come to me if they like me. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.”

GOOD THOUGHT: “I’ll approach them if I find someone attractive. I don’t want to miss out on any opportunities.”

Life is short. Thoughts and actions like this will only slow your progress in finding someone to love. Why waste your time by being overly sensitive to your disability? Your life span isn’t any long as theirs, so remember, make every precious minute of life (especially in your dating life) count. If you’re looking to just have fun and “graze” as they say, then ok, take the less aggressive route. Otherwise, be aggressive. Most people will be intimidated by your disability anyways. I know from personal experience, taking the submissive role is painstakingly slow. I don’t recommend it.

BAD THOUGHT: “I never expected them to be able to be with me forever anyways. No one can.”

GOOD THOUGHT: “I never expected them to be strong as they claimed anyways.”

This is a harsh one: Having someone leave you because of your disability. Maybe they tested the waters and realized they just couldn’t do it. Or maybe they were with you for years and said they were finally burnt out on your disability. Whatever the case, don’t let their inability to be strong enough to deal with your disability make you feel like you’re no one of worth; no one worth being with long-term. Because you are. You just have higher standards now and need one of the “strong ones.” Keep looking till you find them.