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“Love at first sight.”

The beautiful, romantic notion that Hollywood tries to sell to the masses in every other film they release, or the silly, childhood notion that you and your friends talk about as little girls. “When you see him you’ll know,” they say. “There’s just no question about it.”

But is this really true for everyone? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been living on this planet for almost 30 years now (omg), (14 of them in a wheelchair), and the whole “love at first sight” moment has yet to happen to me. And I hate to say it, and perhaps ruin your dreams of ever having this moment, but I just don’t think it exists. And I’m not saying this only eludes people with disabilities (although it does, obviously, make finding a mate much harder). I think we live in a black and white world where “romantic love” is nothing but a myth.

If you are at all a believer in human evolution and that kind of thing, then the idea of romantic love is pretty thrown out with the baby and the bath water. Because if you look at “love” on a strictly evolutionary level, love doesn’t - or can’t rather - exist. We meet, mate, have an attraction for one another, we feel safe or comfortable from one other’s presence, but “love?” What is it really? Psychologists say it’s more than infatuation. Is love selflessness? I don’t even believe humans are capable of being selfless. Everything we do, no matter how “benefactory” it may appear, can always be traced back to an unconscious selfish reason.

So with all of my cynical ponderings just spewed forth there, how can love at first sight exist then? I just don’t believe in it. I wish though IT DID exist though. Wouldn’t that make life grand? I’d love to have my “Somewhere In Time,” moment and be the object of affection – the Jane Seymour- of Christopher Reeves’ character. Oh how lovely that would be! With just a glance at my picture, a man would instantly fall in love with me, become obsessed with me (jn the good way haha), and figure out a way to be with me (time-traveling not withstanding) no matter what.

That would make me the happiest woman in the universe. But for now, I just roll, pass by random men left and right on the street, in the skyways here in Minneapolis each day, becoming more and more aware that that “love at first sight” moment is a myth. I guess if you stop wishing/hoping for something, and become a realist, then you’ll never be disappointed. That’s my new motto.

Until next time…