Next article

You hear it all the time. By the time you hit 30, if you’re still single and wading neck-deep in the singles pool, your options resemble a picked over carcass in the Mojave Desert. In so many words: Not good. But I’m here to say that this is a huge falsehood. There are thousands of new singles entering back into the singles pool everyday. It’s in constant flux. As any Star magazine encapsulates perfectly - you never know who will be single again and when.

Also, it’s sad how many people I know who were married in their 20’s who come only to discover, once they hit their 30’s, that they’re not very happy with this whole “marriage” thing anymore, and they wish to their very core (many times in secret, since they feel trapped) that they were single again. Just give it a few years and the other shoe always drop, and these people too will be re-entering the singles pool like it’s Spring Break 1999 all over again. New people are consistently joining the ranks of singledom.

But if someone is divorced, with children, disabled, overweight, unemployed, whatever, whatever…does that make them one of the “undesirables“ in the post-30 singles pool? Let’s be honest here. Does me having a disability make me less of a catch? In the able-bodied world, most would answer yes. But does disability really have that much of an influence on people‘s minds or am I just being paranoid? (Answer: it depends on the person).

But whether I’m deemed one of the undesirables or not, it really doesn’t matter. I don’t believe I’m an undesirable, and neither (if you’re disabled) should you! And if you believe it, your confidence will soar and others with believe it too. The fact of the matter is that there’s always gems to be found in the post-30 singles world. Quality singles may seem like they’re scarce, but in reality you’ve simply become an adult with a better idea of what you’re looking for, you’re choosier, so it makes sense it seems no one good is left.

Here are some exercises you can incorporate into your everyday life that will help exemplify just how quality-rich the post-30 dating world can be, and to show you there really are potential partners out there, you just have to open your eyes.

- Make Eye Contact: People with disabilities can be notoriously shy. For many, their shyness stems from poor self-esteem. Looking away or at the ground when someone attractive passes you by tells everyone in your vicinity at that very moment that you lack self-confidence, and probably feel you’re out of that sexy person’s league. Muster up the confidence and make eye contact with at least ONE person/day. This is a good first step is coming to believe that decent singles will always be plentiful.

- Smile: After getting comfortable making eye contact with people you find attractive, the next step is flashing them a smile. A smile lets them know you’re interested and approachable; the two top hindrances that stop most people from making the first move. Sometimes a welcoming smile is all it takes to spark an awesome conversation right there in the coffee aisle at Target, and then, who knows? Phone numbers might even be exchanged. And in retrospect you’ll always think, “And all I did was smile. It was that was easy!”

- Make Small Talk: The final step in the, “Yes, there really are singles everywhere process,” is to chat these sexy strangers up, other than just looking and smiling at them. And compliments are surest way to get them to open up and chat. Scan them over and find something you like, and let them know it.

And remember, compliments aside - a simple “Hello!” is always is always great idea too (and it usually always works in opening up a conversation). If they end up not taking the conversation further, don’t be disappointed. Remember, this is an exercise to simply realize you’re surrounded by potential mates. They may not always be interested, but they are out there. And this is hope unto itself.